wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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