whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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