I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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