If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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