i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So vagazzling was a success
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
