My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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