Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
