I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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