Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
