nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Where did you get a picture of my penis
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
