I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
