Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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