3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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