I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
