We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
