Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
