Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
