Sober January is a disaster.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
