So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
not ubering you a puppy
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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