Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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