I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
