I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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