My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
