Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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