I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
