I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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