half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Pants are for mortals
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