That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
