I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
