Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
