I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
