Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
