he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
