I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
