my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
