she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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