YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
