I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
