Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
