chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
