guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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