I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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