I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
