Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
