STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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