accomplished twins. life is a go
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
