Buhtt sex?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
