toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
