Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
