you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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