who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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