How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
